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He's Just Not That Into You: The No-Excuses Truth to Understanding Guys, by Greg Behrendt Liz Tuccillo
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He’s Just Not That Into You—based on a popular episode of Sex and the City—is tough love advice for otherwise smart women on how to tell when a guy just doesn’t like them enough, so they can stop wasting time making excuses for a dead-end relationship. It’s the best relationship advice you’ll ever receive.For ages, women have come together over coffee, cocktails, or late-night phone chats to analyze the puzzling behavior of men. He’s afraid to get hurt again. Maybe he doesn’t want to ruin the friendship. Maybe he’s intimidated by me. He just got out of a relationship. Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo are here to say that—despite good intentions—you’re wasting your time. Men are not complicated, although they’d like you to think they are. And there are no mixed messages. The truth may be, He’s just not that into you. Unfortunately, guys are too terrified to ever directly tell a woman, “You're not the one.” But their actions absolutely show how they feel. Reexamining familiar scenarios and classic mindsets that keep us in unsatisfying relationships, Behrendt and Tuccillo’s wise and wry understanding of the sexes spares women hours of waiting by the phone, obsessing over the details with sympathetic girlfriends, and hoping his mixed messages really mean, “I’m in love with you and want to be with you.” He’s Just Not That Into You is provocative, hilarious, and, above all, intoxicatingly liberating. It deserves a place on every woman’s night table. It knows you’re a beautiful, smart, funny woman who deserves better. The next time you feel the need to start “figuring him out,” consider the glorious thought that maybe, He’s just not that into you. And then set yourself loose to go find the one who is.
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Product details
Paperback: 208 pages
Publisher: Gallery Books; Reprint edition (January 6, 2009)
Language: English
ISBN-10: 9781416909774
ISBN-13: 978-1416909774
ASIN: 141690977X
Product Dimensions:
5.5 x 0.5 x 8.2 inches
Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
Average Customer Review:
4.4 out of 5 stars
1,577 customer reviews
Amazon Best Sellers Rank:
#10,045 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
if I read this 10 years ago, I never would have gotten married. So there's that.Save yourself from terrible mistakes.
You've probably told yourself all of this stuff before, but seeing it in writing really brings it home. I feel like this book has changed my entire perspective on dating and when I feel like there's any inkling of a guy "not being that into me", I quickly end the communication. No point wasting our time!I've had some push back from male friends who I explained this to and they said I can't base life off of a book written by people who can't know how EVERY single guy thinks, but the reality is that if the guy doesn't think the way I do about this--I don't want him!On the same token, I've had some male friends who agreed that what's stated is true: if a man wants a woman, he goes and gets her!If he is really that into you, you will know.There will be no doubting or questioning.This book just reaffirmed my inner voice that was telling me this kind of stuff but I always brushed aside in hopeless romantic style.Not anymore!If you're not that into me--bye!
I first read this when I was "head over heals" for a guy who was to "busy" for me. I was waiting for him to have time. The guy even read the book and did not like Greg at all. It took a couple of years to emotionally realize that this guy was just not that into me.I spent a couple more years pursuing my interests and just being friends with guys...staying open. To my surprise I met an amazing new guy who has a busy job but always makes time for me. I met him doing what I love most ... dancing! We share the same interest. There are no games. He is thrilled to be with me. He is very good looking, very humorous, younger than me and we share the same values. He even lives near my extended family. He wants to spend his life with me and I want that too. I just reread Greg's advice. I think he is right on. Don't waste the pretty on guys that don't deserve you. I don't know if there is a guy out there for every woman ... But I would rather be alone than with a guy who is not that into me!I
Move over diamonds, Greg Behrendt is a girl's new best friend. This book is hilarious and its humor will turn off any yearning for the man you thought was "into you" but not heard from in a while. (The book also gives women permission--and courage--to dump a man without feeling guilty.) The sad truth took a while to sink in that if a man really wants a particular woman, he'll move mountains to be with her. After reading this book I became very curious as to why men are sometimes so fickle--show interest in a woman then back off. This led me to delve into Dr Pat Allen's books and read John Gray's books ie Men are from Mars.... I have also found more in-depth answers--the psychological reasons why--in Robert Moore's King, Warrior, Magician, Lover.
Every straight woman should be required to read this book when she turns 18 (if not earlier). The advice to make men do the asking is a bit antiquated, I think, and the advice is really only relevant to male-female couples, but the message behind the rest of the book is solid. If I would have read this years ago, I would have wasted so much less time in dead-end relationships, or pining after some dude that I kept making excuses for. It's harsh, and you may or may not go through some of the 5 stages of grief while reading it, but you'll be a better person for realizing he's just not that into you. One of the best purchases I have ever made.
As someone in my 60's with a good amount of life experience, I think this is a book with a very important message for girls/women from ages 12-85.I read the book in a couple hours. For someone younger it might take 4-5 hours. I haven't rated the book five stars because it's a literary masterpiece, but because of its most important and clear message, with lots and lots of good examples.The important message in this book is about how guys think and what they really mean when they say particular things.I would have benefited from reading this book when I was younger, and if EVERY young woman read this book it would save many of them needless hours of heartache.
I've spent my whole life making excuses for men and sacrificing my well being, my boundaries, and my self worth for men who were not into me. I've never been in a proper relationship, so my standards were low to nonexistent. I honestly had no idea what I was doing wrong to "sabotage" the relationship and felt there was something I was doing wrong and committing the same fatal mistake over and over. In reality, they were just into me in the first place or even if they were initially, I acted like it was ok to treat me like dirt, which kills any kind of attraction as confidence is sexy. Now, after reading your book I know what to look for and will be able to catch myself when I start making excuses for them. I'm so glad that a man wrote this book and it's coming from a male perspective, so I know it's trust worthy. At 29 years I actually feel more confident to start dating know I have a reference point in how to navigate it all.
This book was mostly just hilarious to listen to on my long commute home from work - it's definitely written with a humorous tone, which beats sitting in my car and inner-monologuing about road rage. Ultimately, the argument is oftentimes overly-simplistic, not founded on any real science and repetitive, but I do agree with the general premise. If he's not making an effort to see you regularly or be with you, he's just not that into you - period. Not a hard concept and many of us as women want something to work out so badly that we will drum up excuses instead of listening to our gut. I do think that there are occasions when this simple axiom isn't the answer/solution to the problem - but I also think a gut check will help sort that out. Still, a good read for young women who are just starting to enter the dating world and could use a crash course in how to not settle for d-bags - wish I had read this in my twenties.
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